I think the most common thing I hear from others is how invalidated people feel when they are looking into different aspects of themselves!
For many people, the discovery of being autistic/ADHD or any other form of ND tends to be from a lifetime of feeling different from other people! Often the discovery of a child's neurodivergence leads to searching up their own neurodivergence and after extensive researching and following fellow ND people on various social media sites it then becomes really clear.
It can often feel validating and like a lightbulb moment when realising there are other people who think and experience things just like you. It can evoke a new sense of belonging after often a long and lonely path and can often feel like everything suddenly makes sense.
Until you dare to tell someone close to you and they respond with "you're not autistic!" or "you can't be ADHD, you are nothing like my friend who has ADHD."
This then feels like a downward spiral of disappointment and humiliation for not only have you exposed your thoughts but you have immediately been shut down and invalidated.
Girls and women seem to struggle with this a lot more as women are known to mirror others from an early age in an attempt to look "normal" and "fit in".
Masking becomes habitual and it is only when unpicking what makes you feel uncomfortable that you may discover you mask in many situations in order to get through the day.
Masking is exhausting as you are constantly putting on a shield just to function on an hourly/daily basis and so this can often lead to chronic health conditions. Masking often starts in early primary school when there's a sudden realisation that you feel you shouldn't think or do certain things and so if you don't discover your neurodivergence until adulthood, that's a long time of masking and there is no wonder your body is exhausted.
Perhaps you are just discovering that you are neurodivergent and you are feeling invalidated, shut down and isolated from your feelings. Or perhaps you are unsure and need space to figure a few things out. If so please reach out for a safe space where you can untangle your thoughts and figure out who you are without feeling judged and invalidated.
Do remember, you are the expert of yourself, no one knows you better than you!